..:: Makin’ A Buck Off The Apocalypse ::..

http://www. cafepress.com/zombieflu

Best shwag EVER.

..:: My Doppelganger ::..

Everyone’s got a twin. Dude on the left looks so much like me, it’s scary. I would say he is my evil twin, but I’d probably be doing the same thing in his shoes. So, does that make me evil?

Logic just collapsed in on itself and boobies win every time, so the post stays.  If anyone has a bead on who that guy is, let me know. I totally want to party with him.

..:: Words Fail Me ::..

Late night… slept poorly… alarm goes off… grab clothes… shuffle downstairs… to fridge for Diet Coke caffeine fix… sit at computer… fire up Facebook… see friend request from dad… cold jolt of fear and adrenaline… google “end times” “revelations” “end of the world” “jumping the shark” “facebook”… return Diet Coke to fridge… make peace with my new reality… accept dad’s friend request.

Did NOT see today starting off like this.

..:: The Truth About Desitin ::..

As a repellent, it’s top notch — I have some of it stuck in my cuticles right now as I type.  Seriously, if we slather Desitin on the hulls of our America’s Cup entries we’ll beat the friggin’ Aussies. It’s great stuff, but I think it harbors a secret.

You can’t wash it off your hands easily, but you have to reapply it after every wet diaper.  So, urine causes it to break down to some extent.  Know what else breaks down when it gets peed on?  Jellyfish venom.  Your friend gets stung, they will beg you to pee on the wound.

Ipso facto, Desitin is made from jellyfish venom.  But it doesn’t show up on the label.

I think my job here is done.

..:: Parenting Do’s and Don’ts ::..

These have been kicking around for a while, and I’ve seen them from time to time.  I don’t know where they came from originally, so I can’t give credit where credit is due.

As the father of two and husband of one I think they’re a riot, because I’ve done about half the don’ts shown below.  Oh, the stories they’ll share in therapy in 20 years will be golden. Call up child services and I’ll deny everything.

..:: Kiddo’s Gonna Be OK ::..

So, Children’s wireless policy is insane.  I can’t connect to social networking sites, personal sites, or sites with questionable content.  So, Twitter and Facebook are out, but goddamnsonofabitch.com is A-OK.  Go figure.

Anyhoo, she’s doing as good as can be expected.  Her mouth had the hell sutured out of it, so she can’t swallow, move her tongue, cough, cry or breathe without any pain.  Three cheers for morphine and codine.  She’s in a fog, but unfortunately that’s what she needs at this point.

She’s been through the wringer today.  Very strong when we got here — didn’t fuss or cry when the strangers in blue started poking and prodding her in pre-op. She rolled with it, and I was proud.  Then she went off, got sliced, stretched and stitched, and she woke up with a look that I had after that lost weekend in Tijuana, and I was proud.

Then came the blood, spit and tears.

She took it all in stride.  She had every right to be scared… it’s not every day you get a uvula.  It’s not every day you can breathe like an average person. That you can swallow like an average person. And every breath and swallow hurt her more than I can imagine.  And the funny thing is, she didn’t seem to cry because she was in pain. She seemed annoyed by it. Like she was trying to think her way through it and rationalize it. I don’t think a nine-month old has ever been introspective, but mine was.

And I’m proud.  Sleep well, princess.  Daddy’s here at your side. You’ve earned your rest.

..:: @ The Inauguration Behind This Hat ::..

A great way to shake off some insomnia is looking at the unrealistically hi-def photo created at the innauguration.  It’s a composite image of 200+ 1,474 megapixel shots.  And holy crap, my Olympus is underpowered compared to this mofo.

Click here to check it out.  Word on the street is you can see Yo Yo Ma taking a picture with this iPhone.  Have at it.

Tip o’ the hat to SS for bringing it to my attention.

EDIT:  Found him

..:: I’ve Hit The End Of Facebook ::..

..:: Bring Me The Head of Eddie Edwards ::..

Shamelessly copy ‘n pasted from seacoastonline.com:

PORTSMOUTH — The state’s top liquor law enforcer suggests a one-drink-per-hour law is a better way to revise state law than a bill supported by a group of local restaurant and bar owners and workers.

The local group wants to add the phrase “knowingly serve” to the law concerning responsibility in serving alcohol to underage and intoxicated customers.

Eddie Edwards, the state liquor law enforcement chief, said the bar and restaurant owners have a legitimate point. But he offered an alternative he called a “safe harbor” law.

Edwards’ proposal says that operators can serve one drink per hour, four at a sitting. One drink is defined as 1 ounce of spirits, 5 ounces of wine or 12 ounces of beer.

“Here’s the criteria — you can only consume so much alcohol,” Edwards said. “If I give you four, five drinks an hour, you should know that this makes someone intoxicated.”

Holy shit, Batman, this guy wants to make my Manhattans illegal to serve.  Eddie… brother… settle the fuck down.  I know you feel like you’re all balls with a moniker of ‘top liquor law enforcer’, but this isn’t your fight.  If people drink too much and do something stupid, there are criminal statutes that come into play. What if I have a designated driver, shit, how about two lined up in pilot and copilot formation in case one becomes incapacitated and I want to drink my ass off.  Like drink-until-the-octomom-is-hot-drunk. I wouldn’t be able to drink more than one drink an hour?  Eff that.

“… you should know that this makes someone intoxicated.”  No shit, Sherlock.  You know what makes me drink, Eddie?  Stupid people in positions to do stupid things. You make me want to drink. And if you get your way, I won’t be able to act on my nature because of your dumbass idea.

It’s New Hampshire, Eddie.  Live Free or Die.  And you ain’t gonna change that.

..:: One For The Geeks - My 5 OS Laptop ::..

So, I managed to turn my laptop test rig dubbed Riceburner (because it took a water spill and I dried it out with some minute rice), into a five OS booting powerhouse. This is one mad multi boot and was done as a demonstration, as there’s no funding for me to have an actual training budget here. Here’s what I did:

I used the Kalyway 10.5.2 install disc to partition my HD.
Windows (0,0) – 60GB
Ubuntu (0,1) – 30GB
Leopard (0,2) – 30GB
Vista (0,3) – 15GB
Win7 (0,4) – 15GB
Total HD space: 150GB

Installed Windows Media Center Edition in the first partition – Windows. Then upgraded to Vista in the fourth, and added in Windows 7 (I’ll do a few more rearms to keep it up for bragging rights, but turn it over to transfer and Linux swap space afterwards.)

I installed Ubuntu in the second partition, tested it out with Super GRUB, then moved onto Leopard by way of Kalyway.

Everything was smooth until Leopard fucked my shit up, but I followed the how to fix display errors step in the user agreement and after swallowing my pride, it worked like a charm. I don’t have a fully supported chipset, as Riceburner is a Tecra A9, so I’m not able to connect it to a network, but everything else is solid under Leopard.

And the best part of it is, my conscience is clean in terms of licensing and EULA. Every install is covered by not being installed on other equipment in my possession. (Even have an Apple sticker on the top of Riceburner if Apple gets persnickety about Apple labeled items.)

A great resource from a dude in Indonesia worked for me: http://linux-guider.blogspot.com/2008/09/dual-boot-linux-and-mac-osx-leopard.html. It’s pidgin English, but the Linux is clean and worked like a charm.

I do have a bit of a two-step boot process though – GRUB starts, and for the Windows partitions it references the MBR loader.

Next, I’m off to tackle the loaves and fishes and water into wine thing.