Archive for the Entertainment category.
My first exposure to Foursquare came from Facebook feed updates showing that friends were checking in to hotels, restaurants and coffee shops. From this I learned that my friends were 1.) traveling more than me, 2.) eating at fancy shmancy restaurants, and judging by the number of coffee stops they were making in an average day, 3.) their pee probably doesn’t smell that good. That’s all I needed to know. I was in.
I downloaded the app for my ‘droid to give it a shot. The function of the app isn’t terrible. It’s not that great either. The accuracy of the database is incredibly wonky. Locations that are close to you are usually fairly accurate in terms of distance, but spots five miles away are often listed as within half a mile. When you move into a new area, refreshing your location in the app often hangs, so you’re better off opening it fresh to grab your present location. In rare cases powering down my phone and starting fresh fixed it.
After four days of using it, I have been able to confirm the following: It’s a phone app for only children. “Look at me! Look at me! I’m eating at a froofy eatery! I’m probably having asparagus on top of four Starbucks stops in the last five hours so my urine smells like roadkill.”
It’s urban geocaching for the lazy. You don’t have to be right at the venue you’re checking into… close enough is adequate. On top of that, if you have the most check in’s for a given venue, you’ll be named mayor of that venue.
The database is decent enough for places known for food, drinks and general shopping, but if you go to specialty stores or off the grid kind of places, you’ll have to add venues. Now, adding venues is 95% of the fun of Foursquare. Anyone can check into a Dunkin’ Donuts, or a gas station. Tell the world what you’re really up to by checking into a smut shop, or a favorite childhood spot that’s been demolished in the name of progress. So, with enough visits, you will become mayor of the venue — the equivalent of Norm Peterson of the smut shop.
Me? I’m currently mayor of Lifestyles Adult Entertainment, the old Benson’s Wild Animal Park, and Your Mom’s House. Screw the run of the mill… I”m hunting and creating exotic spots in Foursquare. I’m changing the rules of the game for my own personal fun.
Comments Off
So, two important things happened: my daughter ranked in the top ten of second graders in a school-wide reading competition, and Ronnie James Dio died. What bridges these two events is Silly Bandz — the shaped silicone bands that have an outrageous markup. These suckers cost pennies to produce, but they run about $2.50 a dozen. It’s great to prop up the failing Chinese economy and all, but c’mon.
Anyway, she got a pack of Rock Bandz which had microphones, drum kits, and most importantly FINGER HORNS! I told her that Dio popularized the finger horns, and she wanted to do up a tribute. And here it is. Splayed out over our monitor.
I love my little head banger.
Comments Off
It’s mid-August, and summer has finally come to New England. So what do we do? We bitch about the heat. I chose to spit in Mother Nature’s eye, and came up with some tasty results.
Last month, Lifehacker had a piece on using the heat that builds up in a parked car on a summer day to bake some cookies. I thought it was a cool idea, but was skeptical, and decided to give it a shot yesterday. And you know what? It totally fucking worked.
Armed with some aluminum foil, I wrapped a Guinness tin tacker I had hanging on my wall, and bought some Toll House chololate chip cookie dough (the flat, pre-cut 24 dough cube kind). I pre-heated the oven as it were by running the defroster on high heat on my way back from the store with the dough. I spaced the dough on my impromptu baking sheet, placed two pot holders on the dashboard and the sheet on top of those. I closed the door and began the wait.
10:40 AM
My 2000 Ford Windstar begins its career as an oven. My thought at this point is “worst case scenario… my van smells really good.”
11:45 AM
Cookies begin to take shape. Note the subtle butter streaks… the tilted position actually is making for a marginally healthier cookie.
12:30 PM
Almost two hours in, and we’re getting somewhere. The cookies are beginning to firm up. The tops are slightly crisp, the bottoms are still squishy. The process is working.
1:30 PM
Now these are some dashboard cookies. I had zero illusions about the quality of the result. Ain’t no way I was expecting nice toasty brown edges on these suckers. They’re just like what you’d pull out of your oven if you pulled them out with three minutes left to go. The chocolate chips were super melty… the whole thing would be great in a bowl with vanilla ice cream.
It is possible to bake cookies in your car on the hottest day of the year. If I had to do it all over again, I’d use a proper dark colored cookie sheet, a sub compact car and sugar cookie dough.
CBS owes him a lot. If he didn’t do the CSI’s, Without A Trace, The Amazing Race, and Eleventh Hour, they’d be running a distant fifth behind The CW. Everything the man touches turns to gold.
Let’s look at his movie resume. Top Gun, the first two Beverly Hills Cop movies, Bad Boys 1 & 2, the three Pirates of the Caribbean movies, Crimson Tide, Con Air, The Rock and more. All of them kick ass movies with ’splosions or memorable performances. I’m intentionally omitting Pearl Harbor because of the Affleck factor. And the fact that his character took a train to England.
Why in fuck’s name is he behind Confessions of a Shopaholic? Unless Isla Fisher has to stop a terrorist plot armed with an MP5 and a pair of Manolo’s, he’s lost his street cred with me.
Dennis Miller once said that the easiest job in the world has to be coroner. It’s surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that can happen? Maybe you get a pulse.
That’s what the Bahamian medical examiner thought. I’m the luckiest guy in the world. Got a nice easy job, some place tropical. I’m in heaven. Wait… Anna Nicole Smith died under somewhat dubious circumstances? The eyes of the world are on me? Ahhh shit. But that can’t happen to me again, can it? I got maybe five years to go until retirement. I can skate through on that.
(Two years later)
John Travolta’s kid died? In my jurisdiction? Oh, fuck me. Did he or didn’t he have autism? I don’t know! Get those cameras outta here. I gotta 3:30 tee time and a frozen drink with an umbrella in it with my name on it. And don’t go dragging me into the Scientology angle. I didn’t sign up for this shit.
So, we were trying to identify the source of a funny smell in the living room. I thought for sure it had something to do with the ratemypoo.com hall of famer I made, or D2’s diaper. She went on the hunt sniffing toys, and finally identified it as a pillow that was marked by one of the cats who is now on the endagered species list.
Well, she gotta faceful of cat piss and was not amused in the slightest.
I however, was laughing my ass off 20 minutes later when the South Park cat urine huffing episode came on. I mean, what’re the odds, right? If I hadn’t been shaken down by Reingold in the football pool, I probably woulda run out and bought some Powerball tickets.
Watching The Untouchables this weekend, I was reminded of two things: 1.) Kevin Costner is a movie star, not an actor, and 2.) Billy Drago is menacing. Not traditional bad guy menacing, but creepy, pedophile menacing. Man has the kind of look that says “I will rape and kill your child, but not necessarily in that order.”
When they do the John Mark Carr biopic, they should totally tap Drago and give the man an Oscar. Let those years of B-list obscurity finally pay off.
Oh, you poor bastard. I feel the need to buy you a beer every time you stare off into space on the interview couch with the look that says “I welcome the sweet, sweet kiss of death.” Maybe next season will bring the focus back onto your brood of charming little tykes, (not including Mady… she’s the devil), and less on Kate’s OCD and verbal abuse.
Or maybe a drinking habit for you next season? That’ll liven things up. Hannah: “Daddy? Why did you sleep out in the front yard last night?” You: “Oh, daddy drinks to forget honey. Daddy drinks to forget.”
Be strong, trooper. Rest up, because puberty is gonna be hell in your house.
I’ve got some random mp3’s in my collection, namely some classic TV themes. They’re fun to have in the collection on shuffle because you never know what you’ll get. I’ve got a ton of Bud Light commercials and Simpsons quotes for that very same reason.
Thining more about it, any theme involving Glenn A Larson or Donald Bellisarius is money. Battlestar Galactica? Magnum PI? I always drive a little faster when the Knight Rider theme comes up. Sure, I might be behind the wheel of a soul sucking minivan, but it just feels like southern California in 1983 outside.
I got thinking that I got on the the kick at a recent wedding. The bride and groom’s parents walked in to the Magnum PI Theme and the bride and groom walked in to the Greatest American Hero. I walked in to The A-Team. Coolest 20 seconds of my life.
Course, when the My Little Pony theme comes up, and I’m driving with no children in the car, I get the sudden urge to drive into a bridge support. But that’s just me.
