..:: Bring Me The Head of Eddie Edwards ::..

Shamelessly copy ‘n pasted from seacoastonline.com:

PORTSMOUTH — The state’s top liquor law enforcer suggests a one-drink-per-hour law is a better way to revise state law than a bill supported by a group of local restaurant and bar owners and workers.

The local group wants to add the phrase “knowingly serve” to the law concerning responsibility in serving alcohol to underage and intoxicated customers.

Eddie Edwards, the state liquor law enforcement chief, said the bar and restaurant owners have a legitimate point. But he offered an alternative he called a “safe harbor” law.

Edwards’ proposal says that operators can serve one drink per hour, four at a sitting. One drink is defined as 1 ounce of spirits, 5 ounces of wine or 12 ounces of beer.

“Here’s the criteria — you can only consume so much alcohol,” Edwards said. “If I give you four, five drinks an hour, you should know that this makes someone intoxicated.”

Holy shit, Batman, this guy wants to make my Manhattans illegal to serve.  Eddie… brother… settle the fuck down.  I know you feel like you’re all balls with a moniker of ‘top liquor law enforcer’, but this isn’t your fight.  If people drink too much and do something stupid, there are criminal statutes that come into play. What if I have a designated driver, shit, how about two lined up in pilot and copilot formation in case one becomes incapacitated and I want to drink my ass off.  Like drink-until-the-octomom-is-hot-drunk. I wouldn’t be able to drink more than one drink an hour?  Eff that.

“… you should know that this makes someone intoxicated.”  No shit, Sherlock.  You know what makes me drink, Eddie?  Stupid people in positions to do stupid things. You make me want to drink. And if you get your way, I won’t be able to act on my nature because of your dumbass idea.

It’s New Hampshire, Eddie.  Live Free or Die.  And you ain’t gonna change that.