About

I’ve captained ships, gotten kicked out of bars, been abducted by extremists and liberated by the Egyptian army, roughed up by federal agents, holed up in Greece with the daughter of an arms dealer, and cheated death on no less than four occasions. I’ve endured deep nerve torture, jumped from and into moving planes, trains and automobiles. I’ve been left for dead and faked my own death. I’ve seen a UFO and been under surveillance for coming too close to the border of Area 51. I’ve helped old ladies cross streets and worked with the handicapped. I’m trained in explosive trace detection and neutralization, liaised with powerbrokers, henchmen and heads of state. I’ve been shot, stabbed and accidentally tattooed. I can throw down, crack wise and cook a mean quiche.

Here’s what I’d put on my resume of proven comedic skills: I made Rosie O’Donnell laugh the day after she separated from her magazine, and Bill Parcells hours after a crushing Cowboys defeat in his first game back against the Pats. I even got a head nod and a ‘well played’ from Ben Stein at one point. What’ve you got?

So, gentle reader, check back often to see what I’m up to. Look around.  Click the links, kick the tires, and put some life into the forum.