Late night… slept poorly… alarm goes off… grab clothes… shuffle downstairs… to fridge for Diet Coke caffeine fix… sit at computer… fire up Facebook… see friend request from dad… cold jolt of fear and adrenaline… google “end times” “revelations” “end of the world” “jumping the shark” “facebook”… return Diet Coke to fridge… make peace with my new reality… accept dad’s friend request.
Did NOT see today starting off like this.
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It took some time to compile, but I got yer results right here. When I looked back this morning, I lost a friend along the way, and my count as it stands right now at 199. So, it’s not REALLY accurate, and was this gonna be scientific anyways? I wasn’t wearing a lab coat, and had Erlenmeyer flasks bubbling over a Bunsen burner or anything.
Without any further adieu, here is my quantitative breakout of Facebook friends:
Total: 200
Male: 95 (47.5%)
Female: 105 (52.5%)
Friends I’ve worked with: 38 (19%)
Current coworkers: 12 (6%)
Former coworkers: 24 (12%)
Vendors/suppliers: 2 (1%)
Friends I know from school: 126 (63%)
Bentley College: 69 (34.5%)
Pinkerton Academy: 34 (17%)
Hood Jr. High: 11 (5.5%)
South Range Elementary: 10 (5%)
Nutfield Preschool/Kindergarten: 2 (1%)
Friends I’ve smoked with: 3 (1.5%)
Friends I’ve drank with: 101 (50.5%)
Friends I’ve seen in their underwear: 12 (6%)
Friends I’ve drank with in their underwear: 4 (2%)
Friends I’ve skied with: 21 (10.5%)
Friends I’ve hugged: 28 (14%)
Friends I’ve hugged while skiing: 0 (0%)
Friends met on the internet: 15 (7.5%)
Friends I’ve never actually met: 10 (5%)
Friends I’ve only seen once: 3 (1.5%)
Friends whose voices I have not heard in 10 years or more: 68 (34%)
Friends I’ve slept with: 28 (14%)
Friends with whom I have some kind of regret: 5 (2.5%)
Friends who have run over my foot: 3 (1.5%)
Friends who have run over my foot more than once: 1 (.5%, but 33% of the above)
Friends whose mom has bossed me around at some point: 4 (2%)
Friends I’ve made a border crossing with: 2 (1%)
Friends whose toothbrush I have used by accident: 2 (1%)
Friends who have heard the Croatian hermaphrodite story: 10 (5%)
Friends who are the mother of another friend: 3 (1.5%)
Friends who I thought I heard the last of until Facebook came around: 12 (6%)
Friends I only know through SWMBO: 5 (2.5%)
Friends who have put up with my shit in some form: 200 (100%)
Friends who have farted in front of me: 6 (3%)
Friends who know another friend in an inexplicable way: 4 (2%)
Friends in my freshman seminar class with me: 3 (1.5%)
Friends I’ve gone to the mall with: 6 (3%)
Posted on January 13th, 2009 by Brad, Head SOB in
Census I’m holding tight at 198 Facebook friends, and as soon as I hit 200, I’m gonna publish the census I’ve been working on. I chose 200 because, well, it’s the nearest milestone kinda number that I can easily calculate percentages from. And saying that I’ve smoked a cigarette with 1.5% of my Facebook friends sounds better than having to round up to 2%.
Look for fun categories like the number of Facebook friends I usually see on Christmas Eve, know only from the internet or have seen in their underwear. Totally quantitative findings, not spilling any beans about who I know from where or whatever. It’ll be fun, and when I hit 200 I’ll publish it.
