So, we were trying to identify the source of a funny smell in the living room. I thought for sure it had something to do with the ratemypoo.com hall of famer I made, or D2’s diaper. She went on the hunt sniffing toys, and finally identified it as a pillow that was marked by one of the cats who is now on the endagered species list.
Well, she gotta faceful of cat piss and was not amused in the slightest.
I however, was laughing my ass off 20 minutes later when the South Park cat urine huffing episode came on. I mean, what’re the odds, right? If I hadn’t been shaken down by Reingold in the football pool, I probably woulda run out and bought some Powerball tickets.
Posted on December 7th, 2008 by Brad, Head SOB in
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I never believed it would happen to me. I thought in the years before becoming a parent that I wouldn’t fall into the trap of expounding in great detail and often on hours on end, the state of my child’s fecal output. I use words like “squishy” and “pasty” to describe more than vegetables on a Thanksgiving dinner table. And oh God the colors involved. Babies are the food eqivalent of a Play Doh Fun Factory. Amorphous puree goes in one end, and the same color lump comes out the other.
Best busted-while-talking-about-poop moment happened to me while I worked for the TSA years ago. Riding the bus home, a guy Ken was on the phonewith his wife and I heard on my end, “Uh huh. Yeah. Uh huh. Kinda mustard colored? I thought it would me more orangey.” The call wraps up and I say “You were talking about your kid’s shit, weren’t you?” Ken tried to play it cool. ”No, man… we were discussing paint swatches for the bedroom.” That charade lasted about 10 seconds then he busted up laughing. ”How’d you know?” “I’m a member of the same fraternity, bro.”
In related news, SWMBO came in with a diaper containing D2’s first genuinely cohesive terd. My head was still on the pillow when this happened, so I didn’t have a full appreciation of the event, because who likes having shit waved in their face when they’re just waking up?
